Dear 4th Floor:

To our co-habitants on the fourth floor of Ramada St. John's,

Please accept apologies on behalf of our infant son whose cries and wails may have disturbed you last night. Unfortunately, it seems that he was awoken by some people trying to get ice. Perhaps you heard them: "DID YA GET DA ICE? IT'S NOT DERE; YA GOTTA GO DOWN ONE FLOOR. ON DA T'IRD FLOOR. DAT'S WHERE IT IS. WHAT ARE YA, STUNNED?"

Come to think of it, he would have happily slept through the night without that interruption. Perhaps you missed the signage on the back of all our suite doors that pinpoints the location of the ice machines (on the 2nd and 3rd floors only). It's the same sheet of paper that tells us to kindly keep quiet after 11 p.m.

Upon further consideration, we'd like to withold our apologies and replace them with feelings of regret and misgiving - for ourselves.

Peaceably yours,
Kenji